The Monotone Dagger : Real~Talk
slice .1 child of the dagger
In a world, where the oblivious were the norm, ignorance in itself was its own protection from being seen as the bane it truly was on mankind as it led him nye unto destruction.
in this world lived a child, that was truly innocent
he stood apart from the other children for they sinned in naivety
he stood apart from the adults for they sinned in ignorance,fear from ignorance and hatred from fear
In this world there was only one innocent child out from humanity
a humanity that sinned against reality and payed dearly for doing so.
this innocent child wanted to save mankind,all he had and all he needed was the monotone dagger.
slice.2 duty of the dagger
the childs name was Real ,the daggers name was Talk
Real never talked, and Talk wasn't a real dagger
Real never learned the speech of man for they spoke only ignorance
Talk was only an empty hilt for truth was sharper than anything as it is,being a physical blade would make it a tool of doom
Real only could wield Talk because he loved mankind, truth only existed for the good of man
Talk only worked with Real because a firm hilt demanded a firm grip and a firm grip demanded a firm resolve born within the truth
Real~Talks resolution was to hurt mankind
in order to teach mankind
out of love for mankind.
that was the truth
slice.3 edge of the dagger-blade of realization
Real's grip and technique with the dagger hilt was logic that worked to fulfill his purpose of spreading the truth
but mankind had to meet the truth half way
with logic as the hilt, the blade came from within mankind, for the blade is the realization and acceptance of the truth.
slice.4 pain is the window
when you acknowledge the hilt the blade rends itself from within in order to meet it
and the truth floods through the wound.
a wounded mind is an open mind, a wounded heart is an open heart, a wounded soul is a voracious soul
and all wounds hurt
there is no open window like an open wound
for an open wound is an open window that reveals the mirror that guides one to the door that needs to be opened.
2nd Scar
The Monotone Dagger: Within The Valley
slice.1 the valley of shadows
In search of ignorance in order to expel it, Real~talk embarked on a hunt for the darkness in the world
not darkness as in the absence of physical light but darkness as in the veil that shrouds the eyes of the hearts of mankind
in doing so Real~Talk found a ghastly trail of darkness that soared through the sky and led him down into a valley.
slice.2 the raging city
Following the trail of darkness into the valley, Real~talk came upon a city in flames
and up from within came the raucious cries of havoc like the burning airwaves off the disentegrating buildings
the trail of darkness was a surrounding a temple dedicated to mountain spirits, that perhaps was where the ignorance resided.
slice.3 the empty rebellion
upon entering he hunted the dark trail down and found it constricted around a furious mob.
placing himself before the tide of bloodlust, and asked them why they raised such mayhem.
their leader came forth and said that 'a long time ago they were Miners that dug for precious metals, and one day came upon enchanted crystals. when they presented the crystals to seers from the mountain top, the seers commanded that they leave the crystals at the temple for they were powerful and could invoke the rage of the mountain spirits, but the miners did not consent and the seers used their magic to punish the miners and to take the crystals away and to the temple'.
slice.4 nihilist motive
The Mountain seers left the stones in the temples where they belong
in order to protect the miners
the lead miner said 'that he and his people had been wronged
and that the seers only want the stones for their own power.
it was their right to rebel for it was the only way to stop the seers before they enslave them all'
as the wall of flesh, and hate serged forward
Real rose up and struck the the leader in the temple (which had been adorned with rage)
with the hand guard of the dagger
and with that he learned of the mans true drive
slice.5 a rebel corrupt
Real learned that the rebel leader was once a mountain seer but was excommunicated for his greed
and that he was using the people to kill the seers in order for him to take the stones for his own power.
and with that he invoked the blade of truth from within the rebel leader
and with it,cut away the chains of ignorance manipulated by his lies
with the destruction of the ignorance the rebels soon realized what they were doing and what the rebel leader had done.
the leader ,having been found out, ran into the temple stole the stones and used them to escape.
the leader however never made it out of the valley
for as soon as his foot hit ground outside of the cities bounderies
the mountains converged, and with gaping caves full of Crysalline teeth they divided him up and swallowed him.
Real saw the brutality
but knew the justice in it
and knowing that, the child of the dagger moved on.
3rd Scar
The Monotone Dagger:Reflection upon the Heights of Dogma and the Depths of Hermitacy.
slice.1 the dungeon of uncertainty
the child of the dagger goes about his duty
unrelenting
unvieling truth in the hearts of man
but the truth hurts
and there are those who fear pain
there are those who wish to keep their motives cocealed
there are those who wish to manipulate
the ignorance of man
and for this Real was imprisoned
but he did not fear
for he knew within himself that he'd soon be free
locked into the darkest dungeon
real was only accompanied by two others
these two were in the dungeon of their own free will
they spoke to Real
and told him their stories
slice.2 the Immaculate Pilgrim
I had grown sick of mankind
in his ignorance and the corruption there of
mankind in its imperfections
will be the destruction of all
I trust no man
no mundane thing
only in the divine
a divine that may not exist
even if it didn't
I would hold true to it
like a stalwort fool
for atleast in holding a belief in nothing
I won't have to fear betrayal
slice.3 the Immovable Recluse
nothing exist to me for want nothing
I want nothing of anything
I want nothing of life
I want nothing death
I want nothing of man
I want nothing of beast
I want nothing of the mundane
I despiseth the embrace of the divine
I wish to be alone
even if it meant suffering
even if a messenger of the divine
were to come to me with
with tidings of deliverance
I would turn away
and use these bare hands
to dig my own bottomless grave
into the underworld and below.
slice.4 blade of oneself
Real stood up
for a truth had been revealed
the truth of oneself
the knowledge of oneself
is the the beginning
to having the knowledge of all
the adgecent prisoners gave up their truths
which came to Talk and became a two edged dagger
one edge divine
one edge null
with this blade
Real carved his way out of the dungeons
and into the world
to continue his work
to be continued...
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
uuuughhh.....sure
but I write like this on purpose, almost by nature...
I just got tired of people makin' a big sh*t out of it.
Uh, sorry if this sounds harsh, but this site is in fact for writers to edit each other. Support also, but that's why we have the whole 'critique' system going. To help each other improve. And it's hard to 'feel' someone's poem if you're being constantly distracted by flagrant punctuation, grammar, and capitalization errors.
The primary purpose of being a writer to me is, yes, to get a point across and be myself, but also to have it affect the reader in a positive way. I like people to like my stuff. It's important to be able to take a critique without defending too much.
YWS is like a 'friggin spell check'. We're here for feedback and opinions.
Sorry. Just had to point that out.
I only worry about grammar if it interferes with the messgae, it this case the grammer fit just fine.
I don't write my stuff to be correct, I write it be myself.
I barely check my grammar I only check my themes
it's okay to be attentive to details, they are very important
but when I write I am chaining together a number of expressions, supported by one major theme
for instance the "Truth" I speak of in this work, is no specific thing, no specific statement or aswer, it's Truth in and of itself, the truth spoken of in this work is the harbriger of reality into the mind.
sometimes people gotta stop trying read literature and start, FEELING IT
this website is help writers support one another, not edit one another, if want to get my work check for grammar I go update my friggin' spell check.
writers write in order to achieve their relevence in life by either stating the imperative truths of this world or by stating their particular puzzle piece to reality caledl their perspective
writers greatest happiness from their work when the reader replies and shares a piece of their own heart in conjunction to the writers expression...
my writing is't part of a text book andI'm not a literary composition teacher so I don't know why you feel socompelled to hop the grammar wagon.
stop reading and start feeling, that's what true writers are for.
the enire universe is like a book, everything has it's name and it's role, it's just up to every person to tell the overall story...
that's the primary purpose of being a writer.
I like how you use the term "real talk" and based a piece around it. I have to say that I like the concept but the delivery was really off. I was confused the whole time.
How is this baby different? Why was the world so ignorant? Is this the future? Was Talk an intity, an idea, a weapon or even a human? Is Truth a seperate being as well? What is the message that he/she is trying to get accross?Those are questions that came up in my mind that never got answered. I never got a sense that I ever knew what was going on at any given time. The spastic shift from in and out of metaphores didn't help much either. I did find, though, that if I stopped being all nit-picky then I could kinda sorta follow the story.
Overall, it seemed more like random ramblings than a poem or story. There was no real flow.
These were the first of many gramatical errors that I saw. Remember punctuation. It seems like you didn't proofread it at all.